Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Reason 857 why I'm not a food blogger

I love reading food blogs. Seriously, who doesn't? I want to see who ate what, where they ate it and if I would want to eat it too. I am not that creative with my food. Not one bit. I don't like taking a lot of time to prepare something that Kev won't eat or will be gone in 15 minutes. But I still love looking at other people's food, even if it makes me sad.

Note to self, don't peruse food blogs when you're unhappy with your lunch. Almond cheese isn't cheese and it doesn't melt into the the nice baked pasta dish you envision.

I took some pictures of breakfast over the last few days and i was struck by the amazing awesomeness of my choices. Let's break them down, shall we?

I think dairy is the root cause of my stomach issues. Dairy = pain. No dairy = happy. It's like how cave people learned to stop eating stuff that killed them. Gorg eats old meat and dies, no one eats old meat.

Back to my amazing breakfast, dairy is out and carbs are in! This is a hollowed out bagel, brought back from NYC, lovingly toasted. I've paired it with spray butter and a nice low sugar strawberry jelly. It's displayed on a bed of industrial paper towels with a plastic knife. Jealous yet? If not, this one is sure to push you over the edge.

Here we have an everything bagel thin (good shit! best bagel thin yet!) Paired with 3 strips of turkey bacon that have been microwaved. Oh yes, microwaved. A side of spray butter and TJ's not cream cheese. (The not cream cheese is NOT good. a rare TJ's fail. It looks like Crisco and doesn't have even a slight cream cheese flavor. So it kinda tasted like Crisco on a bagel thin. Gross) I've plated my food on a lovely Target plastic plate.

And that is reason #857 why I shouldn't be a food blogger.